Tuesday, September 27, 2011

One Year Ago...

My little guy was born!

It was a fast and intense birth, and I'll spare you the details.  I can't believe how fast the time has flown.  Our daughter's first year went by pretty fast, but this year has gone by even faster!  Two children just make everything busier.  I don't know how people handle more children than that!  I always thought I'd want to be a stay-at-home-mom, but I've come to the realization recently (or I've been honest with myself) that it is not meant for me!  I need part time work to stay sane.  I find myself getting snippy at times, irritable, and moody, always giving of myself.  Not that my chosen career isn't equally draining, but it is different.  I need to have my children in good day care so that I can fulfill other parts of my life.  Being away makes me appreciate and enjoy them more.  In an ideal world, I would be blissfully happy to stay home all day everyday, but I'm not, and even though it saddens me a little that I feel that way, I am more happy that I realize this and can give my children better days.  Not that we don't do fun things - we are always going to playgroups, the park, the beach, baking, reading, or doing crafts, but then that irritable mother comes back and I think we'd all be happier to see her less.

I love spending time with my kids, but maybe just a little less time with them, and a little more time following my path.  I don't think that makes me a bad mom, but I know I'll feel a bit guilty about it anyway. It's hard when there are so many awesome mom-blogs and these women are super-moms, staying at home with their kids, and doing an amazing job!   But I feel good making my realization, and knowing that working part time means I still get to see my kids a lot!

One year old!  Happy Birthday little guy!  So many changes, and so many more to come!

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